THE ORDEAL

I'm sure everyone remembers the feature Stop n Swop in Banjo Kazooie that was scrapped

for many reasons. If not you've most likely been living under a rock. If you do remember

then I have an interesting tale for you. So I'm sure everyone knows of the supposed

"Spots" of which you can activate SnS. Well while playing Banjo Kazooie on my computer

hooked up via Gamebridge I was hunting down codes for my Gameshark when I found this

website that had an all black background. It had a short description and a code, the

description was as follows. "Have you ever wondered what's behind those doors in Grunty's

Lab? Well now you can finally find out with this code!" What followed was a rather short

two line code with a simple description. I couldn't believe it, like really, I was

entirely skeptical. Though something at the back of my mind wanted me to believe, so I

rubbed my head and sighed and plugged in my Gameshark mounting Banjo Kazooie on top. I

was pretty into hacking games back in my youth so entering the code didn't take me long.

I enabled the code and went back to the boot menu of the GS and selected start. As the

N64 logo trotted onto the screen I took this time to inspect the execution of it. It was

rather simple for such an "amazing" code, "go to Grunty's lab and press the L button". I

sat back and let the intro roll until I could skip it. I went to my third file, which was

a 100% file that I did over a long weekend. Starting up in the entrance to Grunty's lair

I headed right up the slope into the first note door, into the room with the platform

with the witch's ugly mug on it. I went right up the second slope in this room, the one

made out of the slimey stuff that covers the ground most everywhere in Bubblegloop Swamp.

As I continued my ascent I decided not to use warp cauldrons, for one reason or another

to drag out the suspense.  I continued to climb the tower, humming along with the

nostalgic music all the while being somewhat giddy with excitement. I was having thoughts

like "I wonder what's behind the door!" and such until I finally neared the homestretch

of it all. As I ran through the final room, the one before jumping in Dingpot and being

launched up to fight the evil witch. I completely ignored him though as I headed to the

right for the otherwise useless lab area. I dispatched the black Gruntling and then took

a breath to calm myself and tapped the L button on my Gamepad. Instantly there was a

difference, everything twisted to the side including the door, though it was silly to see

Banjo do a derped out moonwalk. I sighed and muttered "What a waste of time..." I did

notice though, that behind the door was an actual hallway that lead into black like an

actual door in the game. I shrugged and decided to lead my now whacked out bear and bird

duo to it. Banjo's animations were all cut in half and most made him seem like he had

mental issues, for example his basic paw combo just made him flail his arms above his

head. I approached the door and took a few test steps inside to see if I could actually

walk on the floor. To my surprise I could! I continued down the dark hallway until

suddenly Banjo fell! He fell for a good minute or so until I heard the death tune

followed by Grunty's laugh. "What the hell..?" I said to myself, I was very confused.

Whenever you use Levitate to go out of bounds on the Banjo games and fall into the abyss

outside of the stage, it just makes the entry/exit sound effect and puts you back at the

last door. I didn't have much time to ponder further as the game began to freak out. It

was making all kinds of beeps and digital screeches that could make your ears bleed. I

reached for the power off switch when suddenly it played the entry sound and the game

opened to "Banjo" in the same room. I say "Banjo" because of what he was, he was a Limbo

instead of his normal form! For those not in the know; a Limbo is the Skeleton enemy from

the Mad Monster Mansion. He started out laying on the floor but he then just stood and

rubbed his head, as if he had just taken fall damage. It had taken me up til he did the

standing animation to process that this skeleton was indeed Banjo. I moved him around and

he moved just like the bear, no glitches like if you had just model swapped him with

anything else in the game. I barely had time to do anything when a text box came up, the

icon was Grunty. She gave off a dinky yet chilling rhyme; "It seems that you've been a

little too late, wait until you see your home meet fate." I blinked, my mind quickly

putting together that I had to see Banjo's home, but before I could move more the words

GAME OVER appeared and I was promptly booted out to the menu. By this time my mind was

reeling as the normal intro played, nothing seemed out of place. It was when I got to the

file select. It opened to the sleeping Banjo like normal, an empty slot on my cart. I

tried to go to my file but the controls seemed to be locked, I tried hitting every

button, eventually I narrowed it down to A. He didn't wake up but the file opened anyway,

the intro didn't play and Banjo walked out, he was normal again oddly enough. The music

was slow and in lower pitch, Grunty decided to open her big mouth again. "See? When you

pursue such silly and selfish tasks, the world you love will see it's last!" I read the

sentance and immediatly asked in a paniced tone "What the hell did you do?!" After a

moment of deciding this was getting me nowhere I decided to take a look around and what I

found was utterly shocking. Spiral Mountain was on the verge of an industrial revolution!

Though really it was just objects from Rusty Bucket Bay strewn about, it just made me

feel very uneasy, seeing the chimneys sticking out of the mountain and the steel textures

everywhere as if construction had just started, though the most unsettling part was the

TNT box from Rusty Bucket Bay was hanging above part of Spiral Mountain. Due to there

being so much the camera became jerky and Banjo moved very slowly. Throughout my

exploration I could hear Grunty's awful laugh. Finally she decided to speak. "It's the

fool's game you choose and guess what! YOU LOSE!" Right after she said that I got the

GAME OVER text again as the camera moved to the TNT box. Sounds of an alarm started

playing and the camera panned out to above the map and the TNT box dropped causing a

massive explosion that  spread across the entirety of Spiral Mountain. The screen then

faded out as the trademark RARE explosions kept sounding. I eventually decided to reset

the game and as far as I'm concerned everything is back to normal.


EPILOUGE

I've had time to process what happened, I think Rare wants us to move on. It's been ten

years since Stop n Swop was revealed and it was somewhat resolved on the XBox editions. I

mean they started on Stop N' Swop II. That should be fun, Right?